I HAVE MOVED.

If you are a regular reader and you checking in right now then you should be informed that I HAVE MOVED MY BLOG! I switched to Wordpress and my new website is right here! Go have a looksie! See ya 'round the corner!

changing my strategy.

Alrighty, I gotta make some changes.

I found out yesterday that I did not get a job that I really wanted. I haven't gotten any of the jobs that I really want. This could be due to the fact that the economy is shot to shit at the current moment. Or it could be because I am, in fact, not as talented as I once thought I was. That is a tough cookie to swallow, but it is potentially true. So this is where I am at: I have two choices. I can 1) sulk about the sorry state of affairs that my life has become over the last couple of years. I could cry about a lot of things. I could choose to not do anything about it and I could continue to not get anywhere or 2) I can get over it. I have the option to change the course of my life and that, my friends, is a thrilling thought. Yes, scary as hell...but thrilling nonetheless. Now, I realize that I have laid out my two options but the kicker is that I haven't chosen my path yet. HA! Kidding. I have chosen. And I choose number 1. Yep, I'm gonna slack it. I think slackers really are the new CEOs ya know? I mean, we get shit done too...

...kidding. I am gonna pick door number 2. You know that old saying, something about two roads diverged or something or other? I think it ended with something like choosing a particular road and that... making all the difference. Yeah, I want that. So thus I begin.

Here's the thing. I am going to have to be patient and I am finally realizing that. I have lofty dreams and sky high aspirations about what I want out of my life. I'm not saying I WANT huge things but rather, I want to DO big things. Either way, I have to pace myself and choose the right paths for right now... and then later I will be able to make my own path if I so choose. So I assume by this point you might be wondering what it is that I'm gonna do exactly. Well...I'm gonna do the thing that I said I would never do. Not in a million years. I am gonna move home... to my mother's house. Yep. I am going to get on my feet. I'm going to use my degree and I'm going to hang tight for a few years. As much as I do not want to do this and as much as I would rather chase the clouds, I'm going to channel the responsible part of my mentality and do something rational... for now. Fear not though, the rational part of me can't stay in control long. In the blink of an eye I will be off to new and, albeit more exciting things!

This particular moment? I am going to sell some of my cherished things (such as movies and books) for a bit of extra cash. I'm going to apply for jobs in Oklahoma (gag me). I'm going to find the right path for right now (kind of like the Mr. Right Now kinda thing ya know..?). Anywhoo wish me luck on my newest attempt at being an adult.

Disclaimer: If I am in fact lucky enough to get the job in Germany then all of this is null and void and I would be off to Deutschland in a heartbeat! And yes, I accept the fact that I am erratic. ;-) Cheerio!

poetry & aeroplanes

I live and breathe for those moments when words are either spoken or sung that make me know someone else out there in the world has felt what I am feeling. There's something undeniably comforting to know that all these emotions which consume me and the midnight musings about life are on someone else's mind too. It makes me feel a connection to other life, other souls, other confused minds. I like the thought of that.

This realization hit me earlier today while I was listening to music. A song that I love and listen to often all the sudden sunk in. This song is exactly what I am feeling lately and I hadn't ever realized it before. I mean, I liked the lyrics and I understood what they were saying, but today they captured me ya know? So here they are.

I was just thinking that I have been missing you for way too long

There's something inside this weary head that wants us to love just instead

But I was just thinking, merely thinking

I've got loads of pictures

I've got the one of you in that dancing dress

But man I feel silly in that dim light

Just after doing you by the sight of My Kodak delights

I am sinking, merely sinking

I think about long distance rates instead of kissing you babe

I'm a singer without a song

If I wait for you longer my affection is stronger I,

I was just thinking, merely thinking

This boat is sinking

I'm tired of postcards, especially the ones with cute dogs and cupids

I'm tired of calling you, missing you, dreaming I've slept with you

Don't get me wrong I still desperately love you

Inside this weary head I just want us to love instead

But I was just thinking and thinking, merely thinking

I think about long distance rates instead of kissing you babe

And time is running me still

If I wait for you longer my affection is stronger

I was just thinking - I was just thinking

That I'm tired of calling you once a week

And thinking of long distance rates instead of kissing you

Baby I'm sinking, merely sinking

Have a listen